I don’t know what to write. No, my story is fine–that’s not the kind of writing I’m talking about. Seems like there have been several times over the past week when I’ve thought to myself, “I’ve got something to say, I should put it in my blog”, but I never did. Usually because I was at work or so tired I just didn’t feel like I had the energy to get up, turn Ziggy on, and get typing. After that, the thought was lost, and try as I might I just couldn’t figure out what was so important. It’s not that big of a deal, but I also would have liked to have updated before now.
I guess that’s the problem with procrastinating, no matter what the cause is. You put off things that are good for you in exchange for something that might be enjoyable, but is it really good for you? Watching TV and playing video games are great, and I’m probably never going to give either one up, but they don’t really get me anywhere. Whereas sitting down and writing a blog entry or doing the dishes may be useful, good things, but they aren’t so easy or enjoyable. All of this has gotten me thinking about time a lot recently, mostly my own.
IMO, I manage my time very well for someone my age. Sure, I’m not in school, but I hold down a good part time job, make a feeble attempt at keeping up with chores in a home that houses three people and two pets, socialize with my friends whenever possible, cook all of my own food pretty much from scratch every week, watch a lot of DVDs/movies thanks to Netflix, listen to some of the over 1,700 songs on my iPod, play video games, (even reputed soul-stealers like WoW) I write books, (may I remind you all that I won NaNo ‘08 in spite of Thanksgiving week, one of the busiest weeks out of the year where I work, and an especially nice touch to that is that I wrote 10,000 words in two days to win) and I read them too. (Just finished Ruby in the Smoke and The Shadow in the North by Phillip Pullman, am now splitting my time between Proven Guilty by Jim Butcher and The Tiger in the Well which is also by the amazing Mr. Pullman, as well as reading a few books about finance and investing when I get spare moment) Every now and then I poke my head out of my room long enough to say hi to my parents and make sure they don’t forget what I look like, and on the rare occasion when I have a weekend off I usually make time to go shopping or any other fun activity outside the house that gives me an opportunity to show off my shiny new boots.
My time is very valuable. A lot of people feel this way. The people who schedule me at work, for instance. They like taking my free time in exchange for pay to fulfill their needs. That’s cool. I signed a contract saying they could do that sort of thing, and even if sometimes I wish I hadn’t, it was still my choice. That’s why I hate people who whine about how much they hate their jobs, and constantly try to slack off while at said job. You made the choice to be there. If you’re young, like me, you have absolutely no excuse not to go somewhere new if you’re unhappy where you are. If you’re older, and have gotten trapped at a job you hate for some reason, then that too was your choice, though your choices were compounded by time and other issues such as family. It doesn’t make you a bad person to make mistakes or get stuck somewhere. It happens. But whinging about it until your coworkers want to smack you with something, while at the same time making absolutely no attempt to change? That is wrong. I have no respect for anybody who does that.
Also, I’ve learned an important lesson about time very recently. There have been moments in my life when people have made demands on my time without paying me for it, or in fact giving me much at all. Used to be I would try and meet these demands whenever possible because I felt like I didn’t have a life. In comparison to the average person, my life is pretty quiet. I don’t go out and get drunk or party a lot. Or ever. I have no boyfriend and my social circle is pretty small. (I chose quality over quantity) I’m not interested in going to college so I have no educational commitments. I don’t want to get married and have kids so I’m not constantly on the hunt for “The One”. (something else to rant about at a later time) So whenever someone would try and ask me for some of my time, I’d think to myself, “Well, sure, I guess I can do this because I don’t have anything else in my life that’s important by other people’s standards. I have no excuse to say no.”
Apparently the idea I could say no just because I wanted to never occurred to me, or if it did, I stamped it out because I mistakenly thought that such a thing was “selfish” and “bad”. (Isn’t that what our society constantly tells us? Again, earmarking this rant for later.)
Luckily for me, something in my brain has finally started working, (maybe it’s all the awesome rock music I’ve been listening to recently) and this month I’ve realized that my time is MINE. I spend it how I like, and in ways that are important to me. My priorities are a lot different than other people’s, and that’s OK. Not because it’s “OK to be different” (something else society tells us, mostly just to confuse us and fuck us up, I think) but because I’m an adult now, not a child, and if I don’t want to do something, I don’t have to. If anybody tells me otherwise, I have the right to politely give them the finger and tell them to stick it. Even when I was a kid, I had this right in certain places, though of course it’s harder because A) your brain isn’t finished growing yet meaning you’ve got the tendency to be a total dumbass and B) you’re not legal.
If you feel uncomfortable saying “no”, to people, I encourage you to do it anyway. Seriously. The next time someone asks you to do something, whether it’s to go do the dishes or read a book, reach deep inside of yourself and ask yourself how you feel about that. Do you want to? Do you not? What are the consequences of saying no? Ask yourself why you’re doing this in the first place. Why it’s important to you. If you decide the consequences of saying “no” aren’t really that big of a deal, or that doing these things aren’t important, open those jaws wide and spit it out already. You’ll feel better, trust me. Saying “no” definitely makes my short list of top ten most fun things in the world. Besides, practice makes perfect, and this is definitely something you will need to practice.
And if you can say “no” to somebody while listening to The Sound of Madness or Finding Beauty in Negative Spaces at an unhealthy volume, well so much the better.
The lesson has finished. Go forth and perforate, my pretties.
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