Today I learned that labels can be very dangerous. I’m not talking about the kind of label you find on a soup can, obviously, but the labels people put on things like relationships, or other people. They can be dangerous not only because of the way your fellow human beings react to them, but because of the way you react to them internally, whether you realize it or not. They can cause you untold amounts of pain, misery, and upset, all because you got it into your head that you had one thing when you really had another. Tonight I learned to let things be what they are, because putting a label on it doesn’t change anything. It just changes your perception of it. And if you think you’ve got one thing when you’ve really got another, the conflict explodes in your brain, and that’s where the pain comes in. Sort of like jabbing yourself in the toe over and over again while screaming “WHY AM I JABBING MYSELF IN THE TOE!?!?” You can’t point to a hunk of wood and call it gold, after all. If you try, you’re just asking for trouble. Letting people label stuff is fine as long as you know the truth. If you’re happy with what you’ve got, even if it’s not traditional, or normal, or whatever, then that’s fine. People label things so they can understand them. It’s natural, and it’s ok. They can’t quantify it any other way. And sometimes they’re jealous or afraid of what they see, so they label it quickly so they can pigeon hole it away and deal with it and try not to think too hard about how much they wish they had the same thing in their lives. But at the end of the day, the thing still is what it is, no matter what people call it. And if you’ve got the power to see past the labels and appreciate that thing for what it truly is, then you’ve got all the power in the world.
None of this changes the pain that comes from wanting a thing to be something it isn’t, of course, but at least you’ll know why your heart is breaking. That always counts for something.
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