Final Rating: One tiny, sad cup of tea which tasted very much like butt.
Wow. What an awful book. Seriously, it’s terrible. I guess I must have picked it up for free on Amazon, or maybe I got linked to it on Twitter. Either way, getting it for free was a real stroke of luck because I would feel sick if I’d actually paid money for this.
Full disclosure: I did not actually finish this book. My Kindle informs me I made it to 15% completion before I finally couldn’t take anymore. So technically, I don’t have the right to review this story in full…but the fact that I literally couldn’t stand to read another word speaks volumes, imo.
I did read enough to know that if you’re thinking about reading this for some reason…don’t. I can guarantee that there are hundreds of other books in the world about vampires, romance, and magic which are LEAGUES better than this one. Seriously, this thing reads like poor fanfiction. What’s worse is I actually recognized several tropes that I used back when I wrote fanfiction…you know, when I was 14. Yes, this book reads like it was written by a 14 year old. (And that is probably an insult to a lot of extremely talented 14 year olds.)
The plot is trite, the characters are nothing but recycled stereotypes, (for instance the “bad” guy is dark-haired and the “good” guy is a blond) and the dialogue is flatter than a pancake. At first I thought I could get through the book simply by making fun of it a bit on Twitter, but I draw the line at one character sexually assaulting the protagonist and HER BEING UNCONTROLLABLY AROUSED BY IT. Sorry, but I don’t do rape fantasies. I also don’t do characters who have the urge to fuck the very people who are currently terrifying and kidnapping them. This book receives additional demerits for an extremely whitewashed and heteronormative cast. There were also some really disturbing elements of internalized misogyny and viewing women as literal property.
Pretty much the only enjoyment I got from reading this was making snarky comments about it on Twitter, which you can see here and here. The whole thing saddens me because the description made this story sound badass. It’s not. In fact I’m pretty sure it’s the exact opposite. Seriously, do yourself a favor and stay far, far away from this book. (And all the nutty people on Goodreads who gave it 5 stars. HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.)