Happy new year!
Looking back on 2014, I can’t help but be surprised that it’s already over. It was one of those years which never quite seemed to end, and I know more than a few people who barely made it through. For myself, 2014 was a mostly good year. It feels a little odd to say that, when so many awful, painful things happened in the world. But 2014 was the year I made a lot of good memories, found new measures of independence, sense of self, and adopted three amazing kitties. Most of all, I feel like I became a better person in 2014. So there’s no denying that it was, on the whole, a good year for me personally.
At the same time, 2014 was a year of great sadness. We lost far too many good people last year. So many of them were suicides, something that hits me harder than anything else. I miss and mourn them all. I cling to the hope that we can take this pain and this sadness and become better for it, and do our best to prevent the same things happening again in 2015. Maybe that’s a vain hope; but I cling to it just the same.
2014 also taught me a lot about setting more specific resolutions, and for the first time in a long time, I feel like I might be able to accomplish some of my goals. They’re not just faraway islands in a foggy, hard-to-reach “someday”. And thus, in that vein: Here are my resolutions for 2015.
Now that we are on the eve of a new year, I find myself planning my resolutions for 2015. Most of them are resolutions that I feel like I’ve made before– write more; exercise more; spend more time caring for myself and less time trying to make sure everyone ELSE is always OK; etc. These are popular ones, I know, but that doesn’t change the fact that a little more focus in any of those areas would do me a lot of good.
Life is messy, though, and sometimes things don’t always go as we plan. There’s also the added wrinkle of my anxiety being a Butt and constantly telling me “Hey! You’ve totally failed at everything!” whether or not it’s true. So I decided to take a look back at the resolutions I made for 2014 and see how I did. Overall, 2014 was a pretty good year for me, and it was good in ways that can’t be easily quantified in lists or straight lines, (If nothing else, it was a helluva lot better than 2013.) so even if I didn’t “succeed” at my various resolutions, I still feel like I’m a better person than I was last year. Still, though, I feel like I want to consciously deconstruct my 2014 resolutions rather than let my anxiety have its head and just feel like “oh, I’m a failure.” Because that doesn’t help anybody. (Least of all me!)